A Study of Perspectives
by Mage-Yewoqirife
Summary: The Jouney's End is full of complexities. This is the same scene, the goodbye, from three perspectives: Rose, the Doctor and the Duplicate.
1. Rose Tyler

A Study in Perspectives: Rose Tyler

"Just time for one last trip. Dårlig Ulv Stranden. Better known as..."

"Bad Wolf Bay" The blue suited Doctor finished the first one's statement and both had a look of sorrow on their face as we all felt the TARDIS land.

Mum pushed open the door and immediately started talking. "Oh, fat lot of good this is. Back of beyond. Bloody Norway? I'm going to have to phone your father..."

I couldn't help but tune her out as I rotated on the spot, taking in my surroundings. The nightmares that tortured me for more than two years rose to the forefront of my mind and I could hear my heart beat racing faster by the second. I could see the scene from years ago when he vanished mid-sentence and my own personal hell began. My thoughts escaped from my mouth and fear rose already knowing the answer, but afraid of it nonetheless.

"Hold on, this is the parallel universe, right?" Our eyes met and I could read his goodbye. This wasn't happening.

"You're back home." Just those three words caused my body to freeze. It felt as if someone covered me in an unliftable weight and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Donna, his companion, kept explaining. All I heard was "the walls of the world are closing again." Something rose within me and I had to talk him out of the decision I knew he had already made.

"No, but I spent all that time trying to find you. I'm not going back now." All those years working on the dimensional canon and failing time after time. Finally we succeeded and now he was telling me that it was all for nothing? All that work, all those sleepless nights, all those nightmares watching him standing here in this exact spot and vanishing before he could say the words I so longed to hear. None of that mattered to him.

"But you've got to." The Doctor, My Doctor, took a few steps closer to me as he spoke, but his eyes met mine only for an instant before looking over my shoulder to the other him. "Because we saved the universe, but at a cost. And the cost is him. He destroyed the Daleks. He committed genocide. He's too dangerous to be left on his own."

Behind me the same voice spoke, but I couldn't look away from the one before me. "You made me."

"Exactly. You were born in battle, full of blood and anger and revenge. Remind you of someone?" As the question left his mouth he turned to look at me and I was forced to look away. My mind flashed to all our adventures and I knew where he was heading, but I didn't want to let that reasoning destroy my resolve. Pinpricks of heat stung the corners of my eyes as I fought back tears. "That's me, when we first met. And you made me better. Now you can do the same for him."

One fact still remained and I clung to it, setting my jaw so I wouldn't fall apart. "But he's not you." There is no way I could look at a copy of him every day and be happy. How could I? I opened my mouth, but couldn't find words to say.

"He needs you. That's very me." If my heart wasn't already breaking I would have challenged him. It was the other way around. The Doctor didn't need me; I needed him. I needed him so badly and he was going to leave me again.

Donna cut in, looking between the two Doctors expectantly. "But it's better than that, though. Don't you see what he's trying to give you?" I blinked bemused, not sure what she was saying. She looked at the Doctor behind me and nodded so I faced him as well. "Tell her. Go on." Tell me what?

"I look like him and I think like him. Same memories, same thoughts, same everything. Except I've only got one heart."

In my mind that was just another thing separating him from the Doctor. This man in the blue suit may look and sound like him, but he is only part of who the Doctor really is as a whole. Still, part of me needed to know what the purpose of telling me this was and I asked, "Which means?"

His answer is nothing that I expected. "I'm part human. Specifically, the aging part. I'll grow old and never regenerate. I've only got one life, Rose Tyler." My name rolled of his lips in the same way my Doctor said it and I felt my heart skip a beat. That was until it completely stopped with his next words. "I could spend it with you, if you want."

"You'll grow old at the same time as me?" Years flashed through my mind as all my imaginings and wishful thinking returned. Every scene I had ever played in my mind of what I wanted our future to be grew. Of course before I knew they were not possible, but now I was learning that maybe... maybe there was a chance.

"Together."

Disbelief filled me and I shook my head slightly, but before I knew it my hand was resting on his chest and I could feel his one, strong heart pumping away. It seemed to be calling me, making sure I knew how sincere his words were. At the same time, I had to hold back.

All of us turned as the TARDIS whirred behind us. She was getting impatient and I could see the closure in the Doctor's eyes and he took a step back.

"We've got to go." No, no you can't... My thoughts never did become words, but they screamed inside my head over and over. The first of my tears that I worked so hard to contain trailed over my cheek. "This reality is sealing itself off forever." I couldn't stop myself from following him, turning my back on the other Doctor.

"But, it's still not right," This was my last chance. I had to talk him into either staying or taking me with him because for years now he had been my life and I couldn't lose him again. "Because the Doctor's still you."

"And I'm him." It wasn't good enough and I had to show him that.

I turned back to the other Doctor and addressed them both this time. If he was determined to leave me then he would have to give me one last bit of truth before going. "All right. Both of you, answer me this." I looked at the Doctor, my Doctor, and asked him the question I had dreamed about for over two years. "When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me?" A second passed and I saw hesitation in his eyes so I pushed a bit harder. "Go on, say it."

Pain covered his face and I could tell the memory was just as fresh in his mind as it was in mine. "I said, Rose Tyler."

My name. I loved the way he said my name, but it wasn't the bit I needed to hear. "Yeah, and how was that sentence going to end?"

"Does it need saying?" The battle was lost and there was no talking him out of it. The Doctor looked at his human self and I followed his gaze, giving this one a chance to say what I so desperately needed to hear.

"And you, Doctor?" His arm lifted towards me anticipating my question. "What was the end of that sentence?" Whispered words filled me with a joy I never expected and as he pulled back I could see my Doctor in his eyes. My Doctor. I grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled him so his lips met mine in a crushing embrace. Reaching around him, I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and deepened the kiss. Emotions raged within me and for a second nothing else matter except for the fact that we were both there and he loved me.

A sharp snap broke the kiss and we twisted to see the TARDIS door had closed behind the Doctor and his companion. I had barely taken a few steps before they engine began running and she faded from sight taking the Doctor with her. They were gone.

A warm, firm hand wrapped around mine and I returned the gesture. Heat spread up my arm and throughout my body at the small contact and while my heart was breaking it didn't shatter. The Doctor was gone and I would never see him again. The blue-suited man and I looked at one another and when our eyes met a felt the smallest bit of hope.

I still had my Doctor.

Next Chapter: Doctor Duplicate


	2. The Duplicate Doctor

The Doctor Duplicate

"Just time for one last trip. Dårlig Ulv Stranden. Better known as..."

"Bad Wolf Bay" Even if we didn't share the same mind and memories, the heartache in our mental link made it obvious what I - he - was about to do. For once in my life I didn't bother trying to fly my beloved TARDIS because I knew she was taking me to the one place I didn't want to go. The one place where I knew Rose would be safe and where I would be left behind, but just the idea of becoming domestic caused my single heart to work as hard as two.

I followed Jackie out who immediately started chattering about the inconvenience of being left in the only place the TARDIS could land in this universe. Inhaling the air I calculated exactly where we were. September 17, 2012. Monday. Seventeen degrees Celsius. Forty Percent Humidity. Salty air.

"Oh, fat lot of good this is. Back of beyond. Bloody Norway? I'm going to have to phone your father. He's on the nursery run. I was pregnant, do you remember? Had a baby boy." She had a bright smile on her face that was infectious and I felt a bit of excitement for her and her family that cloaked the loss as faces of my own children flashed in my mind's eye.

"Oh, brilliant. What did you call him?" It seemed like an appropriate question, so I asked. I'm sure the boy has multiple names for himself.

"Doctor." Wait, what?! Did she just say my name? She named her son after me? Well that's bloody brilliant. I felt a rush of emotion for the woman before me and stared at her, playing the last couple seconds over and over to make sure I heard her right.

"Really?"

"No, you plum. He's called Tony." Her smile couldn't have gotten any bigger when she realized she had caught me off guard. Tony. Good strong name of Roman origin based of the name "Anthony". Highly Praiseworthy. With his mother and sister alongside him I believed he could one day grow up to fulfill his name.

Beside me, Rose's voice spoke soft and unsure. "Hold on, this is the parallel universe, right?" I heard my own voice respond from further away.

"You're back home." Again I felt the pain crossing over our mental link intensify. I - he - wasn't sure how to say goodbye. There really wasn't a proper way to dump someone off in an alternate universe and trap them there without their consent.

Donna, lovely Donna, sensed this and was able to explain for Rose and her mother so they could understand what was happening. "And the walls of the world are closing again, now that the Reality Bomb never happened. It's dimensional retroclosure." I couldn't help but smirk as I felt both my own - his own - pride over our mental link and we all knew she finally understood her own importance. "See, I really get that stuff now."

"No, but I spent all that time trying to find you. I'm not going back now." All I could manage was to stare blankly over her shoulder at myself. I knew what was happening and there was no way to stop it. He was abandoning me just as he was leaving her and giving neither of us a choice in the matter. I knew what may come of being left behind and if Rose was not staying then I would not have taken this calmly.

"But you've got to. Because we saved the universe, but at a cost." Our eyes met and I could feel him apologizing to us both, knowing that this was all his fault. "And the cost is him. He destroyed the Daleks. He committed genocide. He's too dangerous to be left on his own."

I'm not a child. "You made me." I knew not to speak aloud my next words so I focus on solidifying the thought in his direction. Donna would be able to hear it, but I was sure she already knew.

_Don't punish me because you are scared to admit that you are fully capable of what I did. I am you._

A mental barrier grew and a light humming could be heard. He was closing me out. "Exactly. You were born in battle, full of blood and anger and revenge. Remind you of someone?" A short pause in his words forced her to look away. "That's me, when we first met. And you made me better. Now you can do the same for him."

"But he's not you." It was amazing how much those words hurt. Oh, Rose Tyler. I was him. I was every bit of him.

"He needs you. That's very me." It was as close as he would get to admitting what he - we - felt for her and I knew it. All those years ago we couldn't say it because we knew the pain we would suffer. We knew she couldn't last. But now...

"But it's better than that, though. Don't you see what he's trying to give you?" Her eyes bared into mine as she spoke. "Tell her. Go on."

I waited until Rose fully faced me before starting and I looked into her eyes with every syllable. "I look like him and I think like him. Same memories, same thoughts, same everything. Except I've only got one heart." That one small difference was enough to separate even more and recognize that we were different and would never again be the same.

"Which means?" Her voice was soft and unsure. It was all I could do to keep myself from wrapping my arms around her in a tight embrace. This had to be her choice.

"I'm part human. Specifically, the aging part." _Ew, gross. Focus, Doctor._ "I'll grow old and never regenerate. I've only got one life, Rose Tyler." My single heart was trying to tear itself from my chest in anticipation. The words that before were impossible to say flowed easily from my mouth. "I could spend it with you, if you want."

"You'll grow old at the same time as me?" _Yes, Rose Tyler. I will grow old with you._

"Together."

Hesitation formed in her eyes, but she moved closer and laid her hand on my chest just over my lonely heart. In what seemed to be an attempt to prove my words true, it beat harder and louder just so she could understand our offer.

All of us turned as the TARDIS engines whirred making sure that everyone knew time was running out. There was only two minutes left before time closed itself to this universe and she wanted to return to her own reality. My other self tried to say goodbye in a way that we all knew could never be enough. "We've got to go. This reality is sealing itself off forever."

Rose turned her back on me and moved towards my old self, clinging to what she knew.

"But, it's still not right, because the Doctor's still you." The words stung, but I held my ground. My mind reached out to him, pressing on the barrier he raised between us until he let it down. It only took a nanosecond for him to reach back. It had been years since we had the company that could withstand mental connection and we both knew he would lose it completely. We both needed it for the next few minutes.

"And I'm him."

"All right. Both of you," Something in her voice told us this would be a test and we stepped forward to stand on either side of her, working together. "Answer me this. When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me?" Still she spoke to him, but I knew what he would say. He was strengthening himself to let go and while I knew his hurt I also felt my own hope growing. "Go on, say it."

"I said, Rose Tyler." The statement had never been said and never would be. Not by him at least. He could not bear to lose her again after that confession.

"Yeah, and how was that sentence going to end?" She was torturing him and she didn't even know it.

"Does it need saying?" At the time it was the same phrase that looped over and over in my head and it was the phrase I would have said if the connection hadn't broken. Back then I had still been a coward and I didn't believe saying it could cause anything but my own suffering. She would have understood those words.

Now my perspective had changed. Of course it needs saying, but not by him. Only I could offer myself and only I could say it.

"And you, Doctor?" I heard the hum over our connection as he passed one last chance to me. _It's all up to you. Love her as I never could._ Before she could even repeat the question to me, I was already leaning to her to whisper the words that I could never have said until this moment. "What was the end of that sentence?"

Her hair caressed my cheek and my hand rested lightly on her arm making sure she knew that this was for her and only her. Those three words that held such power slipped off my tongue easier than they ever had.

An eternity passed as she just looked at me in wonder and I didn't even realize she had grasped the lapels of my coat until she was pulling me down for a lover's kiss. My hands were hesitant as they loop around her waist, but she reached around my neck and pulled me tight against her body. Relaxing into her, I reveled in the knowledge that this was our first kiss where we were both in our right mind and it felt brilliant. She was fully her and I was... well I was me. Sort of. My fingers grabbed at the back of her jacket unable to get closer, but needing to feel her at the same time. I was so wrapped up in the sensations that I didn't even realize the other me and Donna had retreated to the TARDIS until I heard the door snap shut.

She ran just a few steps towards the TARDIS and stopped short just watching it fade away as my heart broke.

For near a millennia I had traveled with the TARDIS. She was my one and only companion who would never have to leave and now she was gone. A gaping hole was left where she once was and I felt as if part of me broke. The Doctor took away the TARDIS from me, but I won the better prize.

Rose lost that Doctor, but I would do my best to make her happy. Stepping forward, my hand found hers and we looked at each other knowing how much we needed to be near one another.

The corner of my mouth twitched slightly and my other hand reached into my pocket to wrap around the small piece of coral. I squeezed it tight enough to hurt and felt a rush of hope. Time would pass, but we would be able to travel again. Together.


End file.
